Our Sweet Peyton

I never dreamed I would be writing about something like this, or linking up with other Moms who have lost children, but I am. This post has nothing to do with cookies, but its everything about who I am and the journey God has taken me on to get to where I am today.

Jason and I had been married two years when we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. We were overjoyed to find out we were having a boy, decided on the name Peyton, and began to prepare for a new addition to our family. The nursery was done, I was no longer working, and we were ready.
On July 10, 2007 we went for our last regular check up before I was considered full term. It was there at the appointment in a cold quiet ultrasound room that we were told Peyton no longer had a heartbeat. I was admitted to the hospital that afternoon, and gave birth to our sweet Peyton a little after 1:00 a.m. on July 11th.
To say that we were devastated doesn't even scratch the surface of the emotional journey that began that day. The only place I knew to turn was to God and His promises. I immersed myself in Scripture and prayed nonstop. We spent the follow weeks just literally trying to survive. I remember sitting and weeping in Peytons nursery every day because that was the closest I could get to him. There are no words to describe it, and you can never understand what its like unless you have been there.

Out of all the ways God showed his hand to us while we were going through this, the most obvious had yet to come. On August 23rd I woke up at 5 a.m. extremely sick and nauseous. I called my Mom that morning and she very firmly told me "You're pregnant."
A pregnancy test later confirmed that I was pregnant. Don't do the math, it doesn't make sense. A mere 10 months and 1 day after I gave birth to Peyton,  we welcomed our second son Parker into the world. I can't explain the feeling that washed over me when I heard Parker cry. He is a miracle.
Two years later we were blessed with our daughter Taylor. God is so good.

I hope my story can be an encouragement to someone who is walking through something that seems impossible to survive. I am a walking testimony of survival. God took us from the deepest pit of despair to a place in our lives where we are joyful and blessed. We miss Peyton every day, but we know that because of God's promise of eternal life for believers that we will spend eternity with Peyton in Heaven. WOW! I want my story to give hope to those that feel like there is no hope left.

I truly believe that God has brought me to this point in my life for a purpose. I believe that making cookies is my ministry. I pray that doors continue to open for me to be used however God chooses.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth. a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40

And I only think its appropriate to share the first picture I have ever publicly shared of Peyton,

"For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."

Psalm 57:10