Friday, April 20, 2012

Our Sweet Peyton

I never dreamed I would be writing about something like this, or linking up with other Moms who have lost children, but I am. This post has nothing to do with cookies, but its everything about who I am and the journey God has taken me on to get to where I am today.

Jason and I had been married two years when we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. We were overjoyed to find out we were having a boy, decided on the name Peyton, and began to prepare for a new addition to our family. The nursery was done, I was no longer working, and we were ready.
On July 10, 2007 we went for our last regular check up before I was considered full term. It was there at the appointment in a cold quiet ultrasound room that we were told Peyton no longer had a heartbeat. I was admitted to the hospital that afternoon, and gave birth to our sweet Peyton a little after 1:00 a.m. on July 11th.
To say that we were devastated doesn't even scratch the surface of the emotional journey that began that day. The only place I knew to turn was to God and His promises. I immersed myself in Scripture and prayed nonstop. We spent the follow weeks just literally trying to survive. I remember sitting and weeping in Peytons nursery every day because that was the closest I could get to him. There are no words to describe it, and you can never understand what its like unless you have been there.

Out of all the ways God showed his hand to us while we were going through this, the most obvious had yet to come. On August 23rd I woke up at 5 a.m. extremely sick and nauseous. I called my Mom that morning and she very firmly told me "You're pregnant."
A pregnancy test later confirmed that I was pregnant. Don't do the math, it doesn't make sense. A mere 10 months and 1 day after I gave birth to Peyton,  we welcomed our second son Parker into the world. I can't explain the feeling that washed over me when I heard Parker cry. He is a miracle.
Two years later we were blessed with our daughter Taylor. God is so good.

I hope my story can be an encouragement to someone who is walking through something that seems impossible to survive. I am a walking testimony of survival. God took us from the deepest pit of despair to a place in our lives where we are joyful and blessed. We miss Peyton every day, but we know that because of God's promise of eternal life for believers that we will spend eternity with Peyton in Heaven. WOW! I want my story to give hope to those that feel like there is no hope left.

I truly believe that God has brought me to this point in my life for a purpose. I believe that making cookies is my ministry. I pray that doors continue to open for me to be used however God chooses.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth. a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40

And I only think its appropriate to share the first picture I have ever publicly shared of Peyton,

"For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
Psalm 57:10


  1. Holly, this is so inspirational for those that have been there. I am so truly sorry and you are very blessed with such sweet kiddos.

  2. Oh my goodness but he is so cute! I had no idea, I'm so sorry. We lost our little girl around 18 months ago so I know how rough it can be. Prayers for you and your sweet family!


  3. HI I am visiting from Kelly's. Thank you for sharing the story of Peyton. He is precious, I am blessed to have read about him. We said goodbye to our Jonathan 1-24-12, it is the Lord that has carried me also. Your blog is beautiful and the cookies are truly AMAZING!((Hugs))

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  5. Tears are streaming.....such a sad and devastating time. Can't believe Peyton would be 5 this year....I look so forward to meeting him one day. He was such a beautiful boy, can't wait to love on him!

  6. Holly, you are such a strong christian mother! I look up to you for being so strong in a time I couldn't even imagine. God is doing something special with your sweet family! We love you guys and cant wait to meet precious Peyton one day.. God is holding him tight!

  7. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. Peyton is so cute and precious.

  8. I just loved reading your post. Peyton will never be forgotten and truly did touch so many lives. Thank you so much for sharing!!

  9. Holly, break my heart! Such an amazing testimony and legacy you had in your first born! Peyton was beautiful and looks like his little brother! Thank you for sharing your heart.

  10. Thank you for sharing your Peyton. So many times I don't understand why these things happen, but I refuse to believe that God doesn't have a plan for every single tiny life.

    So glad that you have thankfulness in your heart for your little one's brief time here... what a gift!

    We'll celebrate with my sister's little Gracie someday - so grateful that we have hope!

  11. Thank you for Sharing your story Holly! Peyton is so PRECIOUS! I think of you daily and I pray for you often. I know that Peyton isn't forgotten and that He gets to live on in your ministry to others. Yesterday was our sweet Presley's due date and the pain all the sudden seems so deep again, but I love seeing your smiling face at KDO each week, it reminds me that there is hope and joy in the future when we place our faith in God.

  12. Oh, Peyton is so precious. Thank you for sharing, we lost a baby as well.

  13. I'm so sorry for your loss. I follow you on Instagram, which lead to your blog. After reading your story, I am certain I found you for a reason. We lost our first baby when she was 6 weeks old due to SIDS. We were devastated, too and I thought I could never be happy. I also got pregnant right away and our son Grayson was born 9 months to the day that our Ava had passed away. Ava would also just have turned 5 years old. And we too had another little girl who just turned 2. She is the baby girl I never thought I would have again. God had a special plan for us. Thank you so much for sharing and I can tell we would be great friends and have a lot in common! Love your cookies, by the way!:)

  14. I follow you on Instagram and came over to read this story after seeing your blanket you made. Thank you for sharing. Peyton was beautiful.


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